Lakshmana Rekha – The boundary for females

For the last couple of weeks, I have been tied down to a corner due to my broken foot. I am unable to move and unable to do anything. On top of it all, the painkiller keeps me drowsy and throws me off-balance when concentrating on something important. Yet we are doing well. My family is well taken care of and the kids are happy. All thanks to my wife who stood up as a pillar on whom the household stands. True, everyone has cracked jokes at her for her being busy with her community work. I am sure that they do realize the load she carries on her shoulders of taking care of her two daughters and a grown up kid.
Last evening I was watching one of the soap-operas on the television, where the lady of the house takes it on herself to expose the bad guys all around the work place playing with the lives of their co-workers slyly. Despite of her solid plan, she failed in her attempt as the evil guys got to know of her plan somehow. The situation was then turned in such a way that the lady became the culprit and a villain to the social structure. Probably, the only folly of her plan right from inception was working alone. She had never included her family or told them about her ideas. Even the family turned against her and saw only what was shown as the situation demanded. At the same time all the evil male members walked freely laughing at the poor protagonist.
I'd like to ask, why? Why such a social structure when it comes to the females and not the males? Why do we blame only the females in cases of any untoward happening and not the male counterpart for having indicted such an indecent behavior upon the girl? A few months ago when another horrific crime against women came to the fore, nobody gave a wink. No matter what people said, at the end everyone exclaimed the girl shouldn't have had done this. Many years ago when I was in college, a few friends of mine used to have fun dancing in front of any marriage procession passing by the hostel. Encouraged by this fun activity of theirs, a few female students too joined in dancing. Guess what, a few boys from the procession tried to take advantage of the girls and later also tried to abduct them when walking alone. As common sense prevailed, the girls were reprimanded for their behavior while the boys were left alone. Poor girl students were blamed for trying to have fun even within their limits.
Many a times we forget it is the same female who is playing the role of a daughter, sister, wife, mother, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, daughter-in-law or a friend. She is the one who assumes different roles as per the demands of the situation and adapts herself so well that we have a happy household. She adapts herself and balances between the many relations that are near and dear to us. How many times do we – males – play these many different roles? I am positive a good percentage of us leave the relationship to our better halves to manage. We are so busy or pretend to be busy in playing the role of a provider to the family that we do not pay heed to the rest. Then why blame the woman?
To a good extent I blame the Lakshman from Ramayana for this apathy towards females. It was the single act of creating a "Lakshmana Rekha" and suggesting to Sita that she would be safe within the confines of the boundaries made by him. The boundary representing the captivation of the female was thus introduced to us. Ravana requested Sita to step out of the boundary and he abducted her on doing so. We all know what happened later. Even though Rama killed Ravana and Sita gave the chastity test by passing through fire, Rama exiled Sita to live in forest as her image had blemished. Creating boundaries around oneself is not natural. It is nature's tendency and the progressive path that is expands in all directions. One may try to contain it, but someday the boundaries are broken. In an artistic and even scientific notation, such a behavior is well represented by a circle. And a boundary to contain the females, restricting their growth is best represented as a square bound inside the circle. Dr Pattnaik has given a beautiful explanation of this figure and has tried to identify the female role models who try to break out of this square to expand themselves.

All men are created equal, but some are more equal

When Thomas Jefferson wrote the US Declaration of Independence, he coined the famous phrase "All men are created equal". For centuries since then the phrase has gained popularity and has exuberated its meaning in different forms. The phrase has been used in decorating the speeches, writings and reflecting the intellectual bent of mind by many. Well, I am not untouched by the vast sense of meaning of the phrase either. I love it!
The challenge though comes with what follows the initial phrase – "All men are created equal,…..". It is left for the others to supplement the phrase with additional words forming a statement. And this too has been a very populist subject. I remember in the late 1990's, the editorial of one of the leading newspapers of its time used the phrase to cause quite a stir. It read – "All men are created equal, but some are more equal". This became one of the common themes for essays, group discussions, debates and other literary works. To top it all, it was used as screener to filter out eligible candidates from future jobs or colleges.
I guess, we rethink the statement and question its validity – how can some be more equal when everyone is equal?
It's been a classical management problem of comparing samples for equality and then classification based on the differences. If there was no difference, where did classification come from? Mostly the comparison happens based on the tangible attributes – possessions, family, caste and creed. The intangible attributes are actually overlooked because they cannot be measured. And anything that cannot be measured, cannot be compared.
A staple food during lunch in the north of India is chapatti and pulses. Almost everyone eats the same food. But no two kitchens produce the same taste of pulses or cooks exactly the same type of chapatti. In south of India, invariably everyone easts sambhar and rice. But they are never the same across the various kitchens despite using the same ingredients. Almost all of us went to school wearing the uniforms. Yet not all of us were the same. Each one of us grew up hearing the stories from Ramayana or Mahabharata. But we all heard the same stories in a different way. Some days we empathized with Rama, while the other day we empathized with Surpanakha, who was punished for voicing her love. It's these subtle messages that start shaping up the mind with the thoughts and later become opinions. And before you know the person next door having the same meals as you and listening to the same stories turns out to be different from you.
The 3B Model "Business = Behavior = Belief" is very well explained by Dr Devdutta Pattnaik. And trust me it holds true 100% of the time. It states that the Business or an act of transaction is affected by the behavior of the parties involved. And the behavior is affected by the beliefs of everyone involved in this transaction. While you can measure the transaction, you are unable to measure the behavior. In order to understand the expected behavior, you must try to understand their beliefs. The beliefs or the thoughts and opinions define the stance one takes while in a situation.
When Thomas Jefferson wrote "All men are created equal", he certainly missed the inequality that the men created amongst themselves.

Paati - Letter

पाती तुम्हें लिख रहा हूँ,
दिल थाम कर पढ़ना।
बातें तो बहुत हैं,
पर आज कुछ विशेष है कहना।
चाहो तो मुझे ही दोषी कहना,
पर मेरा हाल भी समझना।
जो सपने हमने देखे थे,
उन्हें जीवन मत समझना।
जिन राहों पर चलना था,
उन पर बबूल उग आये हैं, ज़रा देखना।
मेरा धीमे चलना तुम्हें नापसंद था,
पर तेज चलना कठिन है, ज़रा समझना।
तुम दूर जा चुकी हो,
पर मुझे आज भी अपने आंसुओं में पाना।
अब जो भी है, वही जीवन है,
इस जीवन को सुख से जीना।
मैंने भी जीवन से बहुत सीखा है,
तुम मेरी चिंता मत करना।
अब भी सपने देखना,
पर मुझे नायक मत बनाना।
इस संदेसे को खूब पढ़ना,
और जो अनकहा है, वह भी समझना।
दोषी न तुम हो, न मैं,
पर इस सज़ा को तो पड़ेगा सहना।
मैं हर गम सह लूँगा,
बस तुम्हारे सुख की ही करूंगा कामना।
फिर से विनती करता हूँ, कभी अलविदा ना कहना,
मुझे अपने आँसुओं में छुपा कर रखना।
पाती तुम्हें भेज रहा हूँ,
दिल थाम कर पढ़ना।