Karwa Chauth - a festival of love for couples

We celebrated the coveted festival of Karwa Chauth a few days ago. My wife has always been very enthusiastic for this one day and does everything to make the day special for both of us. Over the years we have got connected with the world through the social media and many other means. Interestingly, the social media has opened us to a wider horizon and scads of ideas and opinions. One such opinion (and quite popular one0 piqued our interest – “Karwa Chauth has become regressive, and is still being used to bind women in a golden cage!”

Both of us brainstormed, discussed and debated at many a points to understand the meaning of the opinion and the festival itself. And then we realized that we need to understand a bit more prior to passing our own opinion on the subject. Per my understanding, opinions cloud your ability to see clearly. We must try to stay away from them. It is on my wife's insistence that I chose to write on this topic. Please allow me to present my not so contiguous thoughts, that may make sense by the end.

While growing up we all listen to stories and think about those as well. However, when we feel we are grown up – we want to listen only to philosophies and leave the stories to our children. What we forget is that every story is laced with the important lessons from philosophy and teaches one to understand the meaning in their own context! Stories are powerful messengers. To understand the festival, let’s listen to a couple of stories.

In the great epic Mahabharata, there is a time when Arjun has to leave his brothers and wife – Draupadi in the forest and go to a hill performing penance. As per the rules of the penance, he is supposed to spend a year away. At the same time, this happened to be the year when he was to be the husband for Draupadi. Draupadi starts missing Arjun. The rest of the four pandavas and Draupadi suffer troublesome circumstances and misfortunes. Draupadi calls for Sri Krishna and expresses her grief. Sri Krishna suggests her of a ritual suggested by Lord Shiva to Parvati. This ritual was to be observed on an auspicious day known as Karwa Chauth to keep the issues away from the martial life. Sri Krishna recommends Draupadi to follow the same ritual to rejuvenate her marriage and pray for victory for Pandavas in the upcoming war.

In another story, the Karwa Chauth was mostly celebrated in the regions that have been prone to wars or attacks from outsiders. In many scenarios, the men would leave the old, children and women back in the security of the fort, while they go out into the battlefield to face the enemy. Due to the resources being scarce, the women in the fort started the tradition to observe fast to save the food for the men fighting for the security and independence. This action became a tradition over the period of time and became the festival as we know today.

In yet other retellings, Karwa Chauth became a festival in the middle ages, for the married women to bond with other married girls by celebrating it together in masses. This helped them to recreate their marriage scenes for their amusement. While enjoying so, they wish to meet again and hence wish to remain married further and praying for a long life for their spouses. This developed a romance between them and their spouses.

Perhaps, the most prominent story that helps understand the meaning of long life of the husband is that of Satyavan and Savitri. Savitri followed Lord Yama who came to take the life of Satyavan away. Yama could neither take Savitri with himself, and could neither leave her behind. Through her devotion for her husband and sharp wittedness, Savitri made Yama to agree to giver herself a boon to bear children. Yama agreed to her demand. And then realized the wit of Savitri, since she could not bear children as Yama was taking away Satyavan. Yama finally had to return Satyavan back to life.

In many parts of India – particularly north, the Kartik month of the Hindu lunar calendar is celebrated with the sowing of the Rabi crop or the winter crop. This crop is sown after the monsoon season is over. During this time, the fields are often filled with insects and reptiles of all sorts. While the farmers are out in the field working, their wives back home celebrate this festival with earthen pot known as “Karva” on the fourth day of the dark fortnight. Thus giving the name – Karwa Chauth.

All the stories hint towards the purpose of the festival which hasn’t changed – happiness and wellness in one’s life. In none of the stories, the women were forced to observe the ritual or the fast. They did what the felt right at the moment. The stories do make a point of wishing for a long life of a husband through the deeds of the woman. Yet, the undelying tone is for the general good for the community and the social fabric. At the same time, the stories emphasize on the role of women in the society. They are seen as the preservers, protectors and guardians of resources and most importantly taking the onus of the family when the male is not around. The women are not subservient to the male, but have a parity.

People today argue the relevance of the stories and how could a simple ritual extend their spouses life? We do agree that fasting or praying on this particular day would not help increase the spouse’s life. Had this been the case, the insurance companies would have lobbied around to exercise a ban on the celebration! But this is a festival that brings them together for a happy life. A life that they can enjoy and cherish for longer time. This makes them remember the facets of their married life even longer.

Over the years, the observation reveals both the partners – bride and bridegroom – observing the fast for each other. While growing up, we have seen numerous couples getting ready on this day and enjoying each other’s company as if their married life starts now. This is a great feeling for them as it rekindles the feeling of joy and romance in their hearts, which is usually lost in the mundane tasks of the life all year long. This is a day for them to remind of themselves as being together and working as a couple for every situation, rather than being an individual that they always are in their profession. This has given an altogether a new meaning to a festival that has been around for ages.

The meanings, motives and the methods may have changed over the period of time. But the festival even today serves the purpose of bliss in martial life. It is up to oneself to see the rituals as regressive or oppressive, but for me it has become a symbol of love and devotion to my spouse without whom the journey of life is incomplete.