What happened to us – Contd.

Sequels are in fashion. Why should I be left behind? So, here is my sequel -

In my previous blog – “What happened to us?” I touched upon the topic of relationship between couples. We saw the two extremes and hence can understand the shifting balances to find the perfect equilibria. Also I did state that we have somehow deduced that anything attached to female is inferior. There are many stories to that which have been concocted in multiple ways to suit our own progenical ideas. One of the most popular one being the sharing of Indra’s guilt for killing Viswaroopa – the teacher of the gods. Indra being the king of the gods needed someone to share his sin and absolve himself of the same. He then shared his sin with the earth, ocean, trees and women. The earth has seizures – volcanic eruptions as a result of the sin. The ocean produces foam / froth. The trees excrete gum. And the women have their menstrual cycle as a result of this sin. At the same time all four were given enormous boons to help Indra absolve himself.

While this story has been concocted in a way to show the impurities in women or how they were considered inferior and hence were asked to share the sin, the reality is that they saved the gods, asuras and humans from the wrath. Also, sharing can only be done amongst the equals. The pain can only be shared by the one who can bear it. These realities though bring out the real mettle of women are often ignored by our story tellers.

Now that we established a lowly race called females, we started viewing anything and everything attached to them as lowly as well. Be it relationship, association or even household chores. We saw two extreme women in relationships – Gauri and Kali. Knowing the patriarchial society we all live in, we want women to be Gauri and not Kali. We want to domesticate them. The concept of boundary – created by Laksmana in Ramayana for a very different cause – has been recreated many a times. In fact in some glorious terms, the woman is given the home as her region and is called as a master of it. The male is allowed the region outside of home while the woman is barred on the pretext of safety. However, going by the principle of the inherent inequality between the genders, the home and any associated work is considered inferior.

In many women empowerment talks, the orientation is towards helping women cross the chasm of the home to the outside world. No one talks of the male crossing the same chasm towards the home? Who would handle the household?

The house is the center of the mankind – life, recreation, reproduction everything. The house is where the human worships the God, realizes himself, understands the purpose of life and helps propagate the life through various channels. At the heart of the house is the kitchen, where the fire or Agni is produced for food, annihilation of impurities and procreation of energy to keep the household growing.

Due to the constant struggle to gain equilibrium of gender, we see the household getting affected. Women want to be equal to Men. They want to work and get equal rights and equal freedom. Men however, do not want to lose their position and hence do not want to take care of the work that women did so far. And finally to avoid the discussion and maintain peace, the maid is invented and invited into the household. Almost all the functions have been outsourced in various forms. Not realizing that the core of household lies in the invocation of Agni in the home and in ourselves.

When we say that god lives in all of us, all men and women are equal since they all have the same god in them. It’s our interpretation that makes the difference. Man and Woman are not different. Our Hindu scriptures always depict the God to be “Ardha-Narishwar” – having features of both the genders. In one of the stories, sage Bhringi – a great Shiva devotee wanted to go around Shiva. Shakti (or Gaui or Parvati or Sati) told him to go around both Shiva and heself. But Bhringi did not recognize her. Still to help his task complete, Shakti fused herself with Shiva. However, ignorant Bhringi gnawed his way through the fused Shiva and Shakti to go around Shiva only. Angered at his act, Shakti cursed him to lose all the elements he received from his mother. Instantly, he lost all the flesh and blood. Left as a bag of tough and rigid body parts – nerves and bones he collapsed on floor.

To strike a balance, harmonization of minds is required. Instead of harping on rights, we need to understand the duties of oneself and fulfil those. Peace and happiness will come to all, but the journey begins from oneself.